Life is too short to waste time hating anyone Part III

Life is too short to waste time hating anyone.

Part III

 

Let me revisit this again.

This morning I was hit with the reality that indeed LIFE IS TOO SHORT… I found out that a young girl I have known for years, who I had in pre-marital counseling, I had performed her wedding, I was part of the baby dedication for her son, stood by her when the grandfather who raised her died, then the dear grandmother who raised her like a mother died, I had talked with numerous times in some very trying times of her young life…. Is dead.

Suddenly, without warning, she is gone. I dare not go into the details of her death because I am not at privilege to do so. But let me say this – she was a young woman, her life ended very shortly.

My heart is sad for her and for the family that is left behind. My heart hurts for them as they try to make sense of it.

I was reminded in a real and harsh way that yes – LIFE IS TOO SHORT.

This leads me to think on the second half – not wasting that time hating anyone – and I pondered beyond what we call “hating” someone. This deals with the Christian, the Follower of Christ. We say we don’t “hate” anyone… but I would ask you (Christian) to think on the fact that maybe, just maybe we do hate a lot of people…

When was the last time you shared Christ with someone? When was the last time you shared His death, resurrection, love, grace and mercy with someone? If you have not shared that with people, then let me ask you – Why do you hate people?  I know that right now you are saying “But I don’t hate people!” Ok, but you’re ok with them dying and spending eternity in hell. How badly do you have to hate someone that you would be ok with them dying and spending eternity away from God? If you don’t hate them then is it that you really don’t believe the gospel? I know that sounds harsh but LIFE IS TOO SHORT.

Listen to what Paul wrote in 1 Corinthians 15 13-19

“…if there is no resurrection of the dead, not even Christ has been raised; and if Christ has not been raised, then our preaching is vain, your faith also is vain. Moreover we are even found to be false witnesses of God, because we testified against God that He raised Christ, whom He did not raise, if in fact the dead are not raised.

For if the dead are not raised, not even Christ has been raised; and if Christ has not been raised, your faith is worthless; you are still in your sins. Then those also who have fallen asleep in Christ have perished. If we have hoped in Christ in this life only, we are of all men most to be pitied.”

If we are wrong, if Christ didn’t do what the Bible said He did, then we who believe are to be pitied because it is all worthless. BUT if we truly believe, and we know that Christ did what He said He would do… then isn’t it incumbent upon us to make sure everyone knows?

You see, if we truly believe what we say we believe it would be (as David Platt says it) the epidemy of hate not to tell people. On the other side - the pinnacle of love would be to tell others what Christ has done.

So the hypothesis that we must really hate people if we don’t tell them is the only conclusion.

Was it not in the book of John that Jesus said – “God, so loved the world…” If He had hated us He would never have provided salvation through Christ. Even later in 2 Peter 3:9 it says – ^“ The Lord is not slow about His promise, as some count slowness, but is patient toward you, not wishing for any to perish but for all to come to repentance.”

If you ask me… that is love. If He hated us He would not be patient with us, He wouldn’t care if we perished.

Let me go ahead answer your question. Yes, I had shared Christ with this young woman many times. But I will also confess that sometimes I too make excuses for my “hate.” I am going to try to love more, love so much that I tell more people. I hope you will too – because….

Life is too short to waste time hating anyone

Life is too short to waste time hating anyone - Revisited

Life is too short to waste time hating anyone.

 

I wrote about this a couple of months ago but I wanted to repeat some things.

WHY? Because we are apt to “give something to God” and then turn around and pick it back up…

 

Let me ask you to try something.

IF you really want to hurt the person that hurt you, grab a big box of rat poison and swallow it with a big glass of water. Now, did that person you hate die? No? Funny, shouldn’t that have worked?

Now – PLEASE DO NOT TRY THAT AT HOME, or anywhere else for that matter. But in a real sense that is what we do when we harbor hate for anyone. We hold a deep bitterness that poisons only the one holding on to it. And I would be willing to bet that the other person either doesn’t remember it or doesn’t care, either way it certainly isn’t bothering them. They are not the one losing sleep planning that wickedly wonderful revenge.

They are not the one wasting time trying to phrase that one line quip that stabs the others heart. How much time of your life will you waste in making those plans, licking your wound, seething over that awful insult? I am not saying that what they person did to you wasn’t something bad. I am not saying that it didn’t cut deeply. What I am saying is that lifting the weight of unforgiveness does not strengthen you it weakens you. Carrying around hatred can completely sap your strength. Its like walking around all day carrying a 100 hundred pound of sand, all day every day.

Jesus says in Matthew 5:43-48

“You have heard that it was said, ‘You shall love your neighbor and hate your enemy.’ But I say to you, love your enemies and pray for those who persecute you, so that you may be sons of your Father who is in heaven; for He causes His sun to rise on the evil and the good, and sends rain on the righteous and the unrighteous. ...”

Any lasting hatred kills the spirit, clouds the judgement and creates ugly scars. Jesus said “love your enemies”  - it frees your spirit – and in it you begin to look like your Father in heaven.  And I like the next part of that scripture (I will paraphrase and through in a little supposition) – because life happens to everybody, its likely just like you have been hurt you might hurt someone else, even the righteous run the risk of causing someone pain.

Do you really think your enemy cares if you hate them? No, says I. They do not care at all, in fact they probably take great joy in it. BUT when you love in such a way that you can pray for them (and no, not pray for them to die a horrible death that’s missing the point) and when that very same person sees that they have not been allowed to take up space in your head…well they just might give up.

Lets add to that something else Jesus said - Matthew 6:15 – “But if you do not forgive others, then your Father will not forgive your transgressions.” Yeah, let that sink in for a minute… Not a pretty thought is it? So in hating we harbor our own unforgiveness.

I know it is not always easy, well, maybe never easy. But the benefits so outweigh the difficulty we would be foolish not to make the effort. If you find it is extremely difficult, ask God’s Spirit to help you, because He will.

SO

Take a moment. Think about that person or persons that you “hate.” Think about that person that hurt you. NOW – don’t think about the revenge but think of the freedom and forgiveness. From there simply bow your heart and ask God to help you forgive that person and ask Him to bleed off the hate from your spirit. Hand God the hate you have been carrying and walk away from it. STOP… no don’t go back and pick it up again, are you crazy…didn’t you just give it up… why do you want to keep going back to get it… Give it to God,  walk away from it, don’t look back at it.   There, now doesn’t that feel better. Now you get on with life. You can get on with enjoying the people around you…because

Life is too short to waste time hating anyone.

 

“Whatever doesn't kill you really does make you stronger”

“Whatever doesn't kill you really does make you stronger”

 

We have all heard the statement above. We have all probably said it.

It is true. PROVIDED, we actually learn from that thing, that situation, that circumstance. It is when we don’t learn anything from it that the strength to face a similar thing again – won’t be there.  It doesn’t mean that we will walk out of a situation, a life transition, a tragedy without a scar or two, a few bruises, or maybe even a long period of recovery. But it does mean that if we walk, run, limp, crawl, or are even carried out of a situation we CAN become stronger. So the above statement isn’t really true. It would be if it read – “Whatever doesn’t kill you CAN make you stronger.”  In fact, we would do well to actually remember that even in the midst of that trial, transition or tribulation.  That way even in the middle of it we can ask ourselves, “what can I take away from this.”

There is another point in this that even Christians mess up. I know you may have heard the statement – “God will never give you anything that you cannot handle.” Honestly I wish Christians would stop saying that.  Life will hand you situations, trials, tribulations, pains, hurts, etc. that will kill you. They will break you either inside or on the outside or both. Yes, God will allow things in life to overwhelm you, things that can defeat you.

Listen to the list of things Paul went through in 1 Corinthians 11:23-29

 

 Are they servants of Christ?—I speak as if insane—I more so; in far more labors, in far more imprisonments, beaten times without number, often in danger of death. Five times I received from the Jews thirty-nine lashes. Three times I was beaten with rods, once I was stoned, three times I was shipwrecked, a night and a day I have spent in the deep. I have been on frequent journeys, in dangers from rivers, dangers from robbers, dangers from my countrymen, dangers from the Gentiles, dangers in the city, dangers in the wilderness, dangers on the sea, dangers among false brethren; I have been in labor and hardship, through many sleepless nights, in hunger and thirst, often without food, in cold and exposure. Apart from such external things, there is the daily pressure on me of concern for all the churches. Who is weak without my being weak? Who is led into sin without my intense concern?

BUT LOOK WHAT HE SAID IN VERSE 30

If I have to boast, I will boast of what pertains to my weakness.

He never would say – “Look what I have done, look at all the stuff I defeated!” It was just the opposite. He would say that his weakness is what stood out. He didn’t boast about what he had done, but he would always boast that it was because of what Christ had done in him.

In Hebrews 3:6

“…but Christ was faithful as a Son over His house—whose house we are, if we hold fast our confidence and the boast of our hope firm until the end.”

Paul knew that in all the things that he went through, had it not been for the presence of Christ in his life, had it not been for his hope firmly on Christ he would have fallen, failed, surely not been strengthened.

BUT here is the thing YOU can have that same hope and confidence. The Bible promises this – “for He Himself has said, “I will never desert you, nor will I ever forsake you,” Hebrews 13:5

SO – today – let’s be honest. What you are going through very well could kill you. What you are going through could indeed cause you to come out weaker.   I want to encourage you to ask Christ for the strength to overcome this “thing.” In John 16 He told us we would have these kinds of troubles, but He also promised that since HE overcame, we could too.

And in Matthew 11:29 – “Take My yoke upon you and learn from Me, for I am gentle and humble in heart, and you will find rest for your souls.”

Let me give you two things to grab on to in the midst of this “thing” you might be in –

TRUST HIM

LEARN FROM HIM

COME OUT STONGER

“Make peace with your past so it won't screw up the present.”

“Make peace with your past so it won't screw up the present.”

 

Far too many of us walk around carry way too much baggage from our past. We are all guilty of it. What’s bad is that when we do that we allow what happened “yesterday” (you can pick the time frame) to taint the joy or happiness that we could experience today. Yes, I will admit that the things of “yesterday” can shape our thoughts, our attitudes and behavior. It can makes us look at things that happen today (or tomorrow) through the scratched, foggy lens in our mind. That is really unfortunate because what honestly could have just been a simple thing turns into something that the other person never meant it to be. It is very possible that the person has no idea what happened in our “yesterday” and there was no way that they could connect the two completely unassociated dots.

You may have been hurt by someone or some situation and you have built a high, thick brick wall around your heart, mind and soul. You may have made a very major mistake that cost you dearly and now you live in a fear or shame and so you are afraid to make any mistake again. You may have been dealt a terrible blow in your life and so you mentally, socially and spiritually checked out. I understand that those things are often incredibly hard to get over, to overcome, and to shake. The reason they are is because we either don’t really try, or we bury our head in the sand and pretend it never happened (that is NEVER a good thing because we aren’t fooling anyone), and sometimes we don’t want to because we have grown comfortable wallowing in our self-pity or anger and we have learned to operate in that realm such that it has grown into our “normal.” We become our own worst enemies. We become our own jailer. We begin to see only the bad things or the possibilities of the bad happening in our lives. In our human attempts we limited in our ability to truly “make peace” with our past.

There is one who promised that not only can they help us make that peace but to truly overcome whatever it is that has us so weighed down from the past that we don’t have the life in us to make the most of today.

Listen to Jesus’ own words, His promise from John 8:31, 32, and 36

“So Jesus was saying to those Jews who had believed Him, “If you continue in My word, then you are truly disciples of Mine; and you will know the truth, and the truth will make you free.”    “So if the Son makes you free, you will be free indeed.”

Believe Him, follow Him, we will see the truth in life and that truth will make for freedom. Jesus has a freedom for His followers, freedom from the past, freedom from guilt, shame, hurt, anger, animosity, etc. etc.

And along with that is some scripture that I personally hold close – in John 16:33b   “…In the world you have tribulation, but take courage; I have overcome the world.”

Did you see that? Jesus didn’t say everything in life would be daisies and rainbows but that in this life here on earth we will have it hard at times. At first glance that doesn’t seem all that good. I am not a fan of trouble. I am not a fan of having hard times, or hard things happen.  But then He says “I have overcome the world” He is saying that those who follow Him will overcome as well. Did you see that? Not cope, not might, but WILL overcome. Overcome what? Overcome all the hard times and trials in this life.

Later Paul would share something for us to do that would help us to see more than just the “tribulation.” In Philippians 4:7-9

“And the peace of God, which surpasses all comprehension, will guard your hearts and your minds in Christ Jesus. Finally, brethren, whatever is true, whatever is honorable, whatever is right, whatever is pure, whatever is lovely, whatever is of good repute, if there is any excellence and if anything worthy of praise, dwell on these things.  The things you have learned and received and heard and seen in me, practice these things, and the God of peace will be with you.”

I seriously doubt that everything in your life is a tribulation; I am sure that there are some good things if you would but look for them and then focus on them. If we do what the Bible says here, then there is a promise attached – “the God of peace will be with you!” 

Yes, yes thank you very much I will take a good dose of that please. I like peace; I want God to be with me… so yes, thank you I accept. Oh, wait. You mean I have to let go of the past and rather than wallowing in my shame, anger, hurt I have to accept freedom and then all the good that surrounds me?  I’m not sure I can do that. You see God, my life hasn’t been perfect, people have hurt me, I have grown accustomed to carrying this stuff.  I can’t just let it go. What’s that You say? All I have to do is let Jesus take it? But I did that don’t You remember back when I was like 9 years old that old preacher dunked me in the water. What? You say I didn’t give it over to Jesus I just got wet because some other kids were doing it? Are You saying that’s why I haven’t really experienced peace and joy, why my “yesterdays” continue to ruin my “todays?”  Then today can I hand it all over to Jesus? Because really I do want to be free of this mess.  I do want to not just make peace with my past I want to overcome it and have Your peace God.

I want to truly live for today and look forward to tomorrow.

We cannot make peace with our past. Jesus can make peace with yesterday, today and tomorrow. We cannot make break the chains, the baggage that keeps us burdened.

SO – rather than make peace with your past…make peace with Jesus and He will unshackle you from the past so that you can truly live free for today.

“LIFE IS TOO SHORT TO WASTE TIME HATING ANYONE.”

“LIFE IS TOO SHORT TO WASTE TIME HATING ANYONE.”

 

You can hate things, you can hate a situation or circumstance, but hating people makes no sense. Think about it, has your hatred ever done anything to the person at whom your hate was directed? Do you honestly think that they go to bed at night sweating the fact that you hate them? Do you really think that they go through the day fretting the bitterness you have towards them? Most likely they haven’t lost too many seconds of sleep over it, nor have they worried about it. You… you however have obsessed over it, you have wrestled through the night on ways to get back at them, and you have let the hate become a deep seated bitterness. How is that working out for you?

We all have a finite amount of time on this sphere of water and terra firma. We have a limited number of waking hours on which to spend this life. In that time, when we hate, we reduce the amount of time we can experience joy, happiness, family, and friends. This hatred will become bitter, then it turns to poison and the only one it poisons is the one who carries it. Does that make sense to anyone? I didn’t think so.

Here is what that poison does to us…

It clutters the thought process – it makes you cynical and causes you to mistrust even the most innocent of actions. It blinds your thinking. From there it -

It clouds your decision making – you start making decisions that are in some way a path to getting revenge. Revenge becomes a meal that you constantly chew on, then it knots up in your stomach (ever heard of an ulcer?)

Hatred controls your attitude and actions – it will even contort your face – the bible calls it your “countenance” - that means people will see the anger on you, and angry people aren’t very pretty to look at...

For the Follower of Christ it constricts the Holy Spirit’s working – if you allow anger to fester it WILL lead to sin and stop the Holy Spirit from working in your life, it grieves the Holy Spirit because hatred and the fruit of the Spirit don’t grow on the same tree.

And for the Follower of Christ, your hatred confuses a watching world – you speak about the love of Christ, the grace, the mercy and forgiveness of God – only to turn around and let your hatred get the best of you, then you say something or do something that is anything but the love of Christ, grace, mercy and forgiveness – and people outside question not just you – but they will question this God you say you follow!

 Let’s read Matthew 5:38-46 and you tell me if this sounds like hate

“You have heard that it was said, ‘An eye for an eye, and a tooth for a tooth.’ But I say to you, do not resist an evil person; but whoever slaps you on your right cheek, turn the other to him also.  If anyone wants to sue you and take your shirt, let him have your coat also. Whoever forces you to go one mile, go with him two. Give to him who asks of you, and do not turn away from him who wants to borrow from you.

 “You have heard that it was said, ‘You shall love your neighbor and hate your enemy.’ But I say to you, love your enemies and pray for those who persecute you, so that you may be sons of your Father who is in heaven; for He causes His sun to rise on the evil and the good, and sends rain on the righteous and the unrighteous. For if you love those who love you, what reward do you have? Do not even the tax collectors do the same?”

Wait… What? But that doesn’t make much earthly sense? EXACTLY! It’s not earthly sense, its other earthly sense. Its heaven sense.

Or how about what the Bible speaks of in Romans 12:18

“If possible, so far as it depends on you, be at peace with all men.”

Have you ever seen hatred and peace hold hands?

I will tell you though that the Bible does have a good recipe for revenge…

In Romans 12:20

 “But if your enemy is hungry, feed him, and if he is thirsty, give him a drink; for in so doing you will heap burning coals on his head.”

Ok, maybe that’s not for revenge. But can you see the picture? The person you should hate is shown kindness instead. It will absolutely bug the snot out of them. The “burning coals” – that’s guilt or a shame because they know what they have done deserves some hatred or revenge and yet you don’t.  And now they are the ones going to bed tossing and turning trying to figure out why you were so nice, they are the ones wrestling with your kindness all day. You on the other hand, sleep peacefully.

Your life is way too short for you to carry around hatred. It robs you of peace, it robs you of joy. On second thought it doesn’t rob you. No, just the opposite, you give away the peace and joy when you have to stop to pick up and carry the hatred because it weighs so much you can’t carry them together.

It takes all your strength to carry it and it takes NO strength to let it go!

So let me recommend something to you – PUT IT DOWN!

There now, doesn’t that feel much better?

One Small Step

“When in doubt, just take the next small step.”

It is my belief that far too many people are frozen in space and time. They would rather continue their walk in a circular rut. Maybe its out of fear. Maybe they have been burnt in the past. Maybe they had a parent that was such a “helicopter parent” that now as an adult they are hesitant to strike out, to risk.

It becomes easier to just stay in the same rut…so much that one day the rut becomes so deep they couldn’t step out of it if they wanted to.

But in doing so, that person misses an immense portion of real life. They run the risk of missing things, great things, which God has prepared for them.

I both pity and hurt for those people.

Because I firmly believe that Jesus meant what He said in John 10:10 -

“The thief comes only to steal and kill and destroy; I came that they may have life, and have it abundantly.”

The thief He speaks of is satan. I know what you’re asking… “But you said it is fear that keeps people from taking the next step..” and I did. But it is satan that has you believing that you can’t, that it’s too risky, that people will ridicule you, that you might lose everything. He is the father of lies. He comes to steal life from you, he comes to kill your desire to live to Christ and wants to destroy your joy, he wants to cheat you out of a deeper relationship and fellowship with Christ .  BUT -  Not Jesus. He came to give you life and give it more abundantly!  He came that even when you doubt where this “thing” is going you know you can trust Him and that you can text that next step.

I think of people like Peter – in Matthew 14:22-33 (go read the story) it is clear that everyone in the boat is terrified, it is clear that even Peter cried out in fear. He asks Jesus that IF it’s you command me and I will come. I find it interesting that Jesus could have said - “Yes, Peter, It is I come.” But Jesus just said – “come.”  Was it implied that it was Him? Maybe. But He didn’t answer Peter’s question did He (besides, He had already told them once, what more did he need)?

Peter still had to have some faith that it really was Him, I mean hey, it could have been an imposter. But Peter took that one small step out of the boat. The others frozen in fear, maybe disbelief, maybe awe.

But Peter… Peter took that next small step even when there may have been some doubt still in his mind.  Besides the obvious, that Jesus can do anything and cause it so other can too… Peter was able the rest of his life to say that he had walked on water. All because he took that first small step to Jesus.

I imagine that once the storm was over, once they were back on terra firma, that Peter was a little dazed, amazed, and exhilarated, and I wouldn’t be surprised to find out he teased his fellow crew members for a while.

Time doesn’t allow discussing the likes of Abraham taking the first step on the walk to sacrifice his son Isaac or Nehemiah taking that step into a king’s throne room not only to ask to be set free but for money and resources…or Gideon experiencing the amazing stunning victory with only 300 soldiers over thousands… the list goes on and on.

Then it strikes me, why aren’t Followers of Christ experiencing God’s Hand at work in abundant ways? Our doubt vetos our faith, and it freezes us in place.

So we just continue on the same path, going in circles, never realizing the promise of abundant life. We read of great stories of God working in ordinary people in extraordinary ways all throughout the Bible. But that is all we do, read.

I would change the very statement - “When in doubt, just take the next small step.”

 - to read - “When in doubt, trust Jesus and just take the next small step.” 

We have to stop being afraid, we have to stop the fear from freezing our next step. That’s what Jesus told the frightened fishermen - Take courage, it is I; do not be afraid.” Peter’s first step came from the little bit of courage he could muster, it came from him trusting Jesus when He had simply said “come,” it came in the act of putting his fear aside…and he took it. And what happened was something he could have never in his life imagined, a part from Jesus.

Let me ask you.

What do you feel God is leading you to do? What “boat” is He asking you to get out of? What place is He asking you to leave or to go to? What risk is He leading you to take?

Is doubt or fear keeping you from taking that next small step? Does it seem too risky, foolish? I want to encourage you… do you doubt a little bit right now…well -

“When in doubt, trust Jesus and just take the next small step.”